Ohio Impromptu

This is a nice opening you have here. I like the description, but moreso I like the fact that you weren't just describing events, you described with nice detail what ...

I'm about to give you the fullest critique I've done since... ever. Be thankful. Anyway, as a whole you have a pretty sound piece here, but its a bit hollow. ...

I like it. It has a good message about the universalness of bacon and how it is in demand everywhere... because it is so good. Just one thing: Michael Eisner ...

I don't know if you've heard the new AFI album, but for some reason this reminded me a lot of a few of the songs. The lights, the rain, the ...

At the beginning I was convinced this was some sort of fanfiction-deal for the Truman Show, but that's irrelevant right now. I liked this, although there were some things that ...

I'm not sure how to base my opinion here. On one hand, I didn't like it because it seemed unnecessary to write something about this level of suffering without it ...

I like this, and I'd like to say it was predictable, but it wasn't. It's obvious halfway through the story that something bad is coming, but somehow the most logical ...

Essentially, you have a good story here, but the execution of it could do with some work. Just a suggestion, but I think you should scrap the prologue and work ...

If this is about the subject I think it is, I can't really relate, so I'll stick with empathy. I like the ending, in that it was blunt and hit ...

I haven't seen any of your other work, so I can't judge this in comparison to anything. However, I really do hope you've gotten better at writing in the last ...

I think if a dictionary were thrown in a blender with a pint of blood and vomit, ingested by a homeless man with a severe case of gingivitis and then ...

It wasn't as good as some of the other stuff I've seen from you, but still good nonetheless. You got the point across, which is what you were trying to ...

You know what I think. :wink: I liked that last bit, the one I hadn't seen yet. Once again, same reasons as the rest of it. I'll get my publisher ...

The title was a bit unoriginal, but aside from that I thought this was good. I'm feeling philosophical today, so that's probably why I liked it as much as I ...

Yes, it does need some work but I think you can handle it well enough. I love the concept and tone though. It's so arrogant and alienating, just because of ...